The bi-annual process of bidding for courses in SMU rages on until the start of the term, but obviously being a guy known for being fucking awesome at a lot of things in the SMU context, I am completely unfazed, as being fucking pro at bidding for courses is yet another one of my specialties. Of course, I always get my courses in the first round of bidding without fail. Being a future big shot investment banker, and a fucking awesome SMU student, I always do the necessary extensive research to make sure my goal of getting all my courses whilst ensuring the saving of E-dollars (this is what SMU kids use to bid) makes me a fucking awesome course bidder. I always collate historical data of the previous three years bidding price history of the courses that I’m interested in, then I extrapolate them to Microsoft Excel, where I create worksheets and run multiple regressions and intensive stress testing of my collated historical data, creating three scenarios of a bull, base and bear case, and putting the finishing touches to the process by using these three scenarios to run a full in-depth scenario analysis. From the results, I will always get an estimated price which has a 99 percent confidence level of being in the bottom 10 percent of prices that succeeds in getting the course. All this to ensure two things – that I get my courses and have my perfect awesome timetable so that I can be TA for 7 other courses, and to maximize the usage of my e-dollars, saving excess that would have been used in unnecessary higher bidding prices. You might ask why I’m saving these E-dollars for. Truth is I don’t really know myself, but I like to brag to other fellow SMU students that I got all my classes, and still have $200 over E-dollars, when most of them are e-dollar broke after each bidding session. It makes me feel fucking awesome about myself – Just another one of those things to accentuate my big fuck status in school. George Kuah, fucking big shot, world class course bidder. Sounds good; steam. All SMU students play the “let’s try to make the other SMU student feel inadequate” game, and I’m the Barcelona FC of it. Lebron James and I share the same nick name cause I’m that fucking sweet.

You know how bidding works in SMU – you know it’s that time of the year when your mobile phone rings nonstop (some of you might not experience this because you either have no friends or you have a gpa under 3.2, which means you suck at life and no one wants to do projects with you) with different people asking you what you are going to bid for and what your schedule is, and how much your bid is etc; and also if you want to bid together and form project groups ASAP, rather than have to analyze through a crowd of jokers on the first day of class and pick out the least rotten clowns of the bunch to have as group mates. We SMU students are serious; so fucking serious about our project groups. Go ahead and laugh, but let’s see who has the last laugh when we get our fucking A plus plus with extra credit and you get your lousy A minus. So awesome me, like many others in SMU, prefers to have the project group tied down by the end of the bidding period. But of course, I only group with the best. GPAs 3.8 or better. Every time I form a group we’re guaranteed the A plus plus. We’d be like, the holy trinity of the Boston Celtics, or the new Real Madrid with Kaka, Ronaldo and Benzema. We’re like Google teaming up with Yahoo AND Microsoft, with the appeal of Apple. We’re Team Fucking Awesome. And we love to square off with other groups of big fucks to know that we’re ultimate. Two semesters ago, I gathered some of the best big fuck minds I knew for a group for Corporate Reporting. Shady Sim, a fellow master of presentation in Cognitare, Ranachan Pattacharn Piyapong Niu Nai, a Thai scholar with a mean work ethic and good enough English, Marvin Wong the Microsoft Excel God, and Betsy Soh, who had decent grades but she was quite hot and was used mainly for data entry and prettying up powerpoint slides. With them as group mates I couldn’t be beat. We were definite A plus plus material. I remember walking down the hallway to class with them, I can still see it. We had the extra swagger – we were like, the Justice League – Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the likes. Reverance was upon us. We’d bump into my arch nemesis Roger Cheah and his cronies of the SMU big fuck syndrome, eye ball each other whilst greeting each other in the most superficial of manners, and once again, I smirked and all I could think in my head was “Mess with the best, die like the rest”. Of course, we got the A plus plus and not them.

Now its back to the future, with new project groups formed one and a half month before the start of school, and we’re all ready to make an assault on the grades. It’s lonely at the top of the Dean’s List.

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