I’ve got a semester left to graduate and it feels like my work here in SMU is done. I’ve conquered everything that SMU students hold near and dear to their hearts. I’ve gotten my near(ahem) perfect GPA, I’m on the dean’s list, I rock out with my cock out being in cognitare, I did 3 internships (yes, every summer because working 9 to 9 is bloody fucking cool) with the last one being an awesomely respected Barclays sales and trading position that paid me good money, I’ve been TA many times, I’ve been in tonnes of CCA EXCOs, I have an SMU girlfriend, I am respected and feared in the classroom, and I am in SMUSA. Before I move on, let me tell you that being in SMUSA is orgasmic. You get branding, people think you have power, and it just sounds like an awfully important position – perfect for a big fuck in school, like me. What exactly does SMUSA do? I can’t tell you… or rather, I don’t think we have real functions. All I remember doing is giving out ice cream, cotton candy and popcorn to smu kids hanging around the library during study break period before exams, like a homeless welfare shelter providing food for the forsaken. And that’s about all I remember about SMUSA. Come to think of it, easy work whilst having the title VICE PRESIDENT OF THE SMU STUDENT ASSOCIATION (which sounds oh so fucking important and allows me to splash it all over my big fucking awesome styled resume) is not too shabby a deal at all. Plus lets think of the way I got elected. I splashed big fucking posters all over the school, with my face photoshopped with some transformer body and megan fox bouncing up and down in the background. Oh and yeah, ask my friends to vote lor (im popular so this means I’m going to win). Easy peasy, and SMU students are dumb enough to not realize that I don’t have a stand or viewpoint or anything on my marketing material nor did I say that I was going to make their lives better by joining SMUSA. They just like my head on a transformers body. But enough with the big digression, and back to me conquering everything that life in SMU has to offer.

I’ve decided to…. here’s a big one… finally live the good life in SMU. It might sound perplexing, especially with the amount of things that I have managed to accomplish here in school. But I want to have outright fun for once during university. A real standard of fun, not the SMU hang out in the library play dota and act cool kind of fun, but something that anyone in and out of SMU context can enjoy. SMU is located in an amazing location, with fascinating things surrounding the campus, but I have never gone. Most fellow students haven’t gone. There’s the Art Museum, the National Museum, Rendezvous Nasi Padang, Cathay Cinemas, Fort Canning, and so much more. But I’ve never gone during school semesters. It’s not that I have no interest, but the SMU culture has made me prioritize my grades and my potential career over everything else. It’s a massive social pressure isn’t it? It’s all about perceptions. Going to Museum=not present in school library=not studying hard enough=lousy grades=no one wants to do project with you=no friends=go to museum yourself holding hands with your own penis. SMU students have very strong mental power; everyone in school is like Jean Grey from the X-men, with their mental visualization of their perceptions (like the one I mentioned above), they create an imaginary vortex of a force field that encapsulates the school compound, not allowing students to venture beyond the grounds. Cross the lines and you are mentally taken to face Pontius pilot and the jews- which is everyone in school.

So now that I’m almost done with this school, and I’m such a big fuck in school, whats more big fuck then saying fuck you all, I don’t fear you anymore, I’m a level 90 elvish beastmaster and I hold the sword of a thousand truths. Fuck I sound so damn cool don’t I.